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I am unproven as a sub

From: Suzanne
Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2012 12:13:25 -0500

Help please, I am new to all this. I am in a one month
relationship that is still in the online stage. I have never
been in a D/s relationship before. The guy seems very genuine
and explains much to me. He has been pleased with my progress
and told me he would increase the level of control over me. He
has been very good about educating me and patient with me.

One of the things he had asked me to do was write to him about
some particular sexual experiences I've had. I didn't have time.
He expressed his displeasure over that yesterday and spoke to me
sharply. It hurt my feelings because I felt like we were growing
so close and he had just said the day before that we are gaining
trust in each other every day and it shows. And that I had
pleased him.

Well I did not react well to him speaking sharply to me first
thing in the morning. And I asked him not to growl. I wasn't
insolent but I complained and I gave excuses about why I had not
completed my writing assignment.

I know he is just tightening the screws as he promised he would.
I am unproven as a sub. He says his job is to slowly educate me
till one or both of us knows this life is not for me - or I
wonder where it has been all my life.

He hasn't written to me since snapping at me. I finished my
writing assignment and I have written apologies and that his
silence seems to be my punishment, that I accept and deserve it
and am trying to learn from it.

It just would be so very nice if I had anyone I could talk to
about this path and the relationship.

I found your blog to be the most helpful one I've read so far.
Is there a way to subscribe to it via email?

Thanks so much.


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I think, that if at all possible, you should arrange a vanilla
meeting with this man. Make sure it is in a public place and that
before you do it you have things like his private address, home
telephone number, car registration. Make sure you have a safety
call to a friend lined up and that you make that call and that if
he/she does not get the call they know these same contact

When you have met him in person you can make a better judgement
as to how genuine he is and whether he is the one you want to be
in a relationship with.

In my opinion, I find that some men are only interested in
wanking material and you are being asked to provide that for him.

For your other bits, yes, some men will use silence as a


Suzy asked:

>"Is there a way to subscribe to it via email?"

Yes. For Admin matters please check the right hand menu of the
blog, where you can click through to various Admin messages and
Categories like Receive Email Digests.

Or see my recent message "better than the email digests"


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