Chastity in the Third Age - using my favourite devices
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2022 00:44:21 -0000
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com
It's been a while since anyone posted here on DOMestic. I hope this update on how David and I have been spending our days stimulates some conversation.
I recently noticed how 'inexpensive' chastity cages for men are nowadays, just as as an example these two I saw on Amazon are now at the 'toys' level of pricing.
At those prices I was happy to buy a couple of 'cheap' chastity cages for shorter term play, rather than try for long term chastity with possibly more expensive or complicated devices. I'll explain...
As long time readers of DOMestic will know, I've never thought that chastity can realistically be imposed on a wanker who is determined to defeat the device by hook or by crook. This is why until recently I only used a homemade spiked penis corset instead of buying an expensive chastity cage. Instructions for making a spiked penis corset are on the DOMestic web site.
My three favourite devices are currently the chastity spikes, the cane, and a small strap on dildo,
and I use them all, if not daily, then many times during the average week. I use the threesome in combination to tease and deny. I've now added a couple of chastity cages as a fun and gentler variation from my use of the spikes.
Even if the male can't remove a chastity device, he can usually find a way to fiddle with himself through any type of restrainer enough to get some stimulation, and can when desperate, bring about some leakage, or even a full blown orgasm. I only use the word orgasm here for the sake of clarity. In our home I always insist that the male 'orgasm' is referred to as a 'spurt' or a 'squirt' and that male masturbation is wanking or fiddling. It is especially important to humiliate the wanker by making him use derogatory terminology when admitting to such 'offensive' activity. But enough digression for now....
I have been keeping David in the spikes every night, so that he can't have a spurt without suffering greatly for my amusement. He knows, because I tell him frequently, that I enjoy the idea that his wanking is painful unless he requested permission for it. And of course, if he does request permission, then I get to enjoy his humiliation at asking for permission and I get to tell him how pathetic he is when he does so. It's delicious how he can't win :-)
As if my pleasure is not reason enough for any male, I can offer the male another rationale for why chastity restraints are 'for their own good'. For example I can tell him it has to be painful for males, otherwise they would all be wanking too much, and squirt more than is healthy. Spurting twice a week is more than enough for male prostate health. And more than twice a week is very bad for male attitude generally. Lectures along these lines often occur during his frequent canings.
In my system of control, as well as the stick, there is also the carrot. So I tell him that the pain of the spikes is to help him control himself so that he can benefit when I allow him a spurt without the spikes. To have any chance of getting a reward like that he needs to get his unsupervised squirts down to less than once every 4 days. Remember that more than twice a week is bad for male attitude. So, if he manages to go a full 4 or five days without a spurt, he is allowed to request a "little wank".
I try to make it hard for him to last through even one night by dropping my panties into his lap at my bedtime after I've kissed him goodnight. That tends to ensure he almost never makes it to 5 days without spurting, so I don't have to supervise the messy squirty business too often.
At around 8pm in the evenings, I either put on his spikes myself, or supervise as I order him to do so in front of me as I relax with a glass on wine. As an additional cruel temptation, I often tell him that he is not allowed to fiddle with himself, even with the spikes in place without sniffing my panties to remind him of my control.
Sometimes I'll send for him after I've retired to my bed, I'll give him my vibrator and tell him to warm it up for me. I make him suck on it to get it nice and warm. While he's doing that I tell him I will not be needing him but he'll find my panties in the laundry basket in the en-suite bathroom. "I'll enjoy thinking of your spikes digging in while you sniff them."
I try to moan loudly as I orgasm as I know he'll be in the en-suite bathroom probably hoping to be summoned even though I told him I would not need him.
The advantage of a chastity cage over the spikes is that I can prolong his restraint into the daytime when we are not in company or out and about. Even a cock that's been toughened up needs some relief from tormenting spikes, but now I can grant that while continuing the restraint. Another advantage is that cages can even be used when washing and showering making sneaky wanking even harder.
He gets a severe caning of well over 40 strokes on a monthly basis as a reminder of what will happen if he misbehaves and I always make that heavy caning hard for him to take.
I also give him a very light caning on a regular, sometimes daily basis, at which time he receives six to a dozen or more strokes of the cane after breakfast.
I question him during the discipline session to check that the spikes have been kept in place for all his unsupervised wanking.
During such questioning I have the opportunity to express my pleasure at hearing about how his 'squirts' were painful. And my deliberately expressed joy at hearing such tales of frustration and suffering form the basis of his own intense pleasure in believing he has to suffer for my pleasure.
For those who might think I'm giving the game away by acknowledging what he finds sexy to believe, and that David will know my mind when he reads this article, let me reassure you (and him) that the two things can be true at the same time. In consensual FemDom the dominant can understand the pleasure of the submissive while she enjoys herself.
I don't lock him into the spikes and I like to leave him with the ability to misbehave, as that provides a lovely excuse for the monthly severe caning. I love to let him complain that it hurts so that I can tell him "It's supposed to hurt," and explain why he has to suffer.
During his monthly caning I might ask him things like, "Do you know why you have to be caned severely like this?" And if he doesn't provide an amusing answer, he can experience the pleasure of my telling him that I have to make it painful to force him to accept the unpleasantly controlled masturbation at night.
"I love hearing how you suffer wanking with the spikes, and you wouldn't suffer for me if I didn't cane you like this would you?"
This helps him suspend the reality and pretend it's only about my need to be cruel. He doesn't have to admit to himself that he enjoys that cruelty. The double-think makes role play all the more fun for dominant and submissive.
I'll try to let you know a bit about my use of my favourite strap-ons/dildos to enhance tease and denial in my next post.
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Posted by: Audrey | link | edited and published March 26, 2022 2:34 AM
From: Audrey
Gerald will have read our discussions here on the blog by now,
so no doubt he is getting excited about my plans. But after this
message he might be disappointed or apprehensive.
Christine wrote:
>Even if the male can't remove a chastity device, he can
>usually find a way to fiddle with himself through any type of
>restrainer enough to get some stimulation, and can when
>desperate, bring about some leakage, or even a full blown
>orgasm.
I don't like the sound of that. I want Gerald to be unable to
'spurt' without permission. I want him desperate.
I was hoping to organise something for Gerald that is more lock
up and forget than what you do with David. As I really want
Gerald to be kept absolutely chaste until I feel like letting
him wank.
I think he is wanking too much and that this leads to his surly
attitude. So I want to lock him up until I like his mood and
that will put me into a good mood.
I don't want to supervise him daily, or be involved beyond
caning him whenever I'm in the mood for that. Same with
chastity.
He might be begging for it daily, but I'd be likely to just say
no until my mood was right. Or put him in the bath for the
'waters of the queen' treatment to change his attitude.
So, I want something washable and permanent. I wonder if there
are belts more suited to permanent chastity?
Has anyone on DOMestic any experience to share about chastity
belts that might suit my needs.
Thanks,
Audrey
Posted by: Christine | link | edited and published April 17, 2022 2:40 AM
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com
Hello Audrey,
You wrote:
>I want Gerald to be unable to 'spurt' without permission. I
>want him desperate.
You might be surprised at the effect you will get by simply
telling him to wear any device, even if it doesn't achieve your
goal of making him totally chaste.
So, I would say, don't sweat the small stuff. Send him to bed
early, in the spare room if you have one, wearing a chastity
belt every night, and pop in and drop your discarded panties on
his face before you retire to bed yourself.
He will know you are doing that to make him suffer 'caged'
frustration, and he will love it. Then regardless of what
frustrating activity he gets up to, you will see the kind of
change in attitude you said you are looking for.
You may not need to go for permanent wear or constant
supervision if you don't want to. Most "boys" just want to know
you care enough to lock them up at night, or whenever they are
going to be unsupervised. Their feverish and fantasising little
minds fill in the details. If he has your knickers and is locked
up, he'll know you are the wicked boss he dreams of.
If you tell him that you don't want him to spurt, and tell him
that he is in a chastity belt to make sure any leakage is the
kind of ruined spurt he deserves for misbehaving, then you can
operate a don't ask don't tell policy.
Only ask what he's been up to if you want an excuse to impose a
further penalty. If you don't want such an excuse, or reason,
then don't ask.
You may find that a simple regime like that is as much "lock up
and forget" as you'll need or want. In fact the routine of
instructing him to put it on at bedtime is likely to be more
satisfying for your submissive than being locked away and
forgotten. Most "boys" get unhappy if ignored.
But, Audrey, you also wrote.
>I was hoping to organise something for Gerald that is more
>lock up and forget than what you do with David. As I really
>want Gerald to be kept absolutely chaste until I feel like
>letting him wank.
Based on what Gerald has said in the "cane me please Mistress
Audrey" thread at...
https://u4ds.com/2018/08/cane_me_please_mistress_audrey.shtml
I think your desire for total chastity control seems likely to
be a dream come true for him. He must be very excited by reading
what you wrote. So, if that is what you really want. And to
answer your direct question which was....
>"I wonder if there are belts more suited to permanent
>chastity?"
Yes, there are belts that are "more" suited to permanent wear.
For that you'll want to measure him in detail and buy an
appropriately sized device rather than an off the shelf one.
You might want to look at BON4 in Holland, Mature Metal in the
USA and RED CHILI/cage-de-chastete in Tarragona, Spain.
Those three are made in sizes that you'll need to measure him
for. I've seen very good reports on all three but there are
others that I have not researched as thoroughly. I'm not
recommending any particular one, as I've not tried any of them
myself, yet! (David watch out!)
If you try one of the above for a few hundred dollars, or spend
even more on individually tailor-made to measure which can run
to thousands, you'll get the comfort and sizing which is
necessary for the long term daily wear you want for Gerald.
No device is ever likely to be perfectly suited to your ideal of
"lock up and forget". So whether you choose a made to measure
device, or experiment with cheap stuff from an online shopping
site, is actually less important than understanding the
psychology of your submissive partner. Because it isn't just the
device, but how you both use it, that can result in the kind of
control you desire.
Chastity devices only work if a submissive wants it to. And most
submissives really do want it to. The fantasy we all enjoy is
that the device is doing the controlling, when in reality it is
the mental commitment of both sub and Dom that does it. The
device is just a comfortable (or not) reminder of their mutual
commitment.
It's clear from what Gerald has already posted here that he
thinks he is prepared to make the commitment if you want him to.
He has stated his desire to feel female power and control. The
more important question is whether you are prepared for what was
implied by your own statement.
>"He might be begging for it daily, but I'd be likely to just
>say no until my mood was right. Or...."
It also doesn't matter a whole lot on what activity follows the
"Or...", it is the fact of your permitting him to beg daily, and
your preparedness for deciding either 'yes', or more importantly
'no' that will excite him perhaps more than you intended by your
throw away remark.
Based on what you posted I think you are likely to soon find
regular begging tiresome, and you'll get the results you need
from the chastity belt in the spare bedroom treatment I
suggested.
But if it's begging you really want, you will want to ensure
that he does not intrude with his begging. I find it best to
require David to kneel and wait for me to notice him. Then I can
either encourage him to beg, or simply dismiss him if I'm
otherwise engaged.
He may not enjoy the actuality and the humiliation of begging
for permission to wank, but he will absolutely love the idea
that you have decided that you want that. So if you demand it,
he will love it. If you insist that is what you want, he will in
all probability think he is in heaven. He will then enjoy the
frustration of whatever device he is wearing if you've just sent
him away with a simple 'not today maybe tomorrow if you're
good'.
"Lock up and forget" will be unlikely to inspire a lot of
enthusiasm for your regime. But a simple daily activity like
telling him to get ready for bed in his chastity belt will be
likely to achieve the attitude change you want. Begging and
denial is a bonus that Gerald will love when you want that level
of activity, but you don't need to go that far.
sincerely, Christine
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